Goodbye: farewell (a conventional expression used at parting)
synonyms: parting; so long; leave-taking
I'm not great at goodbyes. I've moved many times during my life so you would think I would be better at it. But nope.
Maybe it's because I'm a Baptist in New Orleans. Baptist church goers that I've met over the years were only here for a short time for whatever reason. I didn't expect to make this my home, either. But it got under my skin and into my soul so here I am....21 years later. After Katrina, this phenomenon of people exiting the city became an even greater concern. I said goodbye to many friends as a result of that storm. It destroyed more than just our city. I started asking people immediately if they were from here when I met someone I bonded with. If they weren't from here, I did not invest in them because it was likely they wouldn't be here long term. It was a matter of keeping my heart from being in a state of continual breaking. I'm sure I've missed out on some great friendships because of this. But survival demanded it.
My tender hearted Graham unfortunately got this trait from his momma. He would cry and cry when he was younger if he had to leave or if someone was leaving him. If he did have to say goodbye, it was a long affair of kisses and high fives and booms until he was completely satisfied with the way the goodbye was administered. I think God needed to teach me patience because he put a damper on any kind of hurry I was in. Poor little guy still struggles with goodbyes but has toned it down. At least externally. I'm sure his little heart feels the same way, but as with most things, aging has taught him to internalize his feelings. And going back and forth between his parents I'm sure is exceptionally difficult. I hate this.
Romantic entanglements are not great for someone who has a hard time with exits. Nor is it great for someone who is not great at deciphering between a good fit and one who is not. Because I find people curious, I usually let the relationship linger longer than it should have because I'm just not done getting to know them. I end up focusing on them instead of what I need/deserve/want. This conundrum of curiosity and goodbye procrastination is not awesome for my tender heart.
I loathe finishing a movie or book when I love the character.
I'm a goodbye amateur when I should be an aficionado.
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