I tell my boys often that they should be reserving their emotional energy on things that are actually deserving of their tears/anger/sadness/frustration aka emotional energy. This is not an easy lesson to teach to a 7 and 4 yr. old. Especially since their 40 yr. old momma doesn't quite get it.
(homegirl just typed a 5 instead of a 4...give me a moment to collect myself....
.............................................OK, I'm back. And I am 40 NOT 50!)
My boys are prone to get angry when their iPads aren't connecting or when they are losing a game. They throw fits when they can't have one more scoop of ice cream or when their finger hurts. They totally lose it when their brother takes something away from them. That, perhaps, is the only thing that warrants a large amount of emotion. I get upset when somebody takes something that is mine, too.
On the other hand, there isn't much in life that doesn't matter.
So it becomes a task of deciphering the emotionally warranted things vs. the things that just need to be paid attention to. This is a life long journey...this task of keeping your emotions in check.
I was broken up with via text once. It was a long enough relationship to warrant a face to face conversation. I tried my best to be brave and dismiss it/him as insignificant. But I had spent my precious time and energy on this relationship. It certainly deserved more than a dismissive text. I wrangled with myself on this one...trying to talk myself into reflecting his emotional dismissiveness. I wanted also to have meager and cool feelings. But that would in turn erase the precious months I spent investing in the relationship. It would nullify memories and relationships I formed because of him. He had seeped into every part of my life during those 9 months...intentional or not. If I had agreed with his diminutive attitude, I was essentially saying that I can cut out 9 months of my life simply because someone else had decided to bow out with disregard.
I believe that the emotionally mature are able to stand by their emotions regardless of how they are received. If our emotions are treated with indifference, it doesn't make them any less palatable to us. Or it shouldn't, rather.
So in an attempt to grow up, I spend time alone with gratitude for the time to dig. I journal to make sense of how I feel. I accept things that don't matter to others but matter a great deal to me as important. And I am continuously filing things away into the "emotionally deserving" or "let it go" file.
Life is made up of moments...great and small. And most of the time we are too busy throwing a fit over one scoop of ice cream to realize we have been robbed of a feast.
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