My Friend Anger

"Lack of emotion causes lack of progress and lack of motivation." -- Tony Robbins

My primary emotion lately is anger.  I would much rather be angry than hurt.  Anger propels you to act.  It gives you the fuel you need to conquer the pain that loves to paralyze you.  I have found that hurt doesn't cause progress or motivation.  It causes paralysis.  So instead of the usual tinge of pain I feel when I see an old flame, I just feel anger bulldozing a path in my veins.

It's simply delightful.

I know that underneath the anger is sadness.  But anger is sadness manifested.  It's the not so silent partner that requires you to respond.  It deflects any self blame you feel and rests it solely on the person receiving your anger.  For someone who has internalized every problem in my life and made it my fault, this newfound placement of blame is thrilling.

I can now look at a situation in which I feel misunderstood or wronged and instead of the I-want-to-hide-in-the-bathroom-and-cry feeling, I get the I-have-this-overwhelming-desire-to-punch-you-in-the-face feeling.  One feeling makes you take a break from life and one makes you act.

I prefer the action.

I suppose this is a phase.  Which goes hand in hand with my "I don't give a crap what you think" phase.

I'd much rather be feisty and active than crying and hiding.

So, Tony, I disagree with you.  Lack of emotion doesn't cause lack of progress.  Sadness does.  Anger, however....he's my friend.

Be very careful if you happen upon me in a dark alley....feisty Rebekahs in dark alleys are dangerous.