As much as I try, I can't quite figure out who I am when they are gone. I attempt to live my life just as I did when they were home, but the result is usually bleak failure. I stay out too late. I drink too much. I date too much. I work too much. I eat unhealthy. My book typically sits untouched. Every other week, I'm in this challenge to make a coherent picture of my discombobulated life.
When they are with me, I'm in bed by 9. I read my book. My kitchen is clean. There is healthy food in the fridge. I cook. The laundry is done. My phone is somewhere of unimportance. I am the best version of myself.
Having to switch this mom button on and off is the most unnatural request. It's like asking a dog to act like a cat. Only for a week. And then change back. The result is seven days of settling into a routine that changes once you've settled. And you find yourself meowing instead of barking. Awkward.
I'm not great at this.
Maybe I should start a support group for women who have to endure this craziness. I'll entitle it, "Seven Days of Being a Cat." There's probably already one in existence. Homegirls...we love our support groups.
(My Pandora Chopin station is not reading my mood right at all today. Waltzes at 6:30 a.m.? Firm eye roll.)
In order to dissuade myself from living opposite lives, I'm starting 30 day challenges. I listened to a Ted Talk that said this is the best way to start something new or change a behavior. I believe most things I hear on that Ted. He's a great man with lots of wisdom.
My first challenge is simply to be in bed by 10 p.m. Sunday thru Thursday. Consistently. Homegirl has to see just what happens after 10 on occasion...thus, the weekends aren't included in this so I'm free to roam. I do, after all, have a wandering spirit.
Maybe this is the answer to my discombobulation. Consistency...regardless of whether I have little boys calling my name over. And over. And over. And over. Again.
I need to put those petri dishes in the hands of someone who knows what to do with them. So far I've been very confused by their purpose.
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