Momma needs a Nest

nest: noun; a pocketlike, usually more or less circular structure of twigs, grass, mud, etc., formed by a bird, often high in a tree, as a place in which to lay and incubate its eggs and rear its young; any protected place used by a bird for these purposes.

I hadn't felt overwhelmed like that in a while.  I was distracted and worried.  I couldn't stop thinking about the house.  It was on my brain as I ate lunch with friends. They knew something was off.  I thought about it as I worked.  I couldn't concentrate.

I had just looked at a house to rent and it was perfect for us.  A place I could truly call home for me and my boys.

We need this.

We lived in the family house for almost a year after my husband left.  Then with my parents for 8 months.  Now a small apartment.

The fear of not getting the place is intense.  I didn't realize how important it was to me to find a home for us until I saw this one.  We have been living in a small apartment for 8 months and we are all a bit stressed out by it.  We just need space.

Having a home is probably one of the most important things to a woman.  We are nesters.  We like to settle in and make it our own.  We hang pictures strategically placed.  We paint if necessary.  We arrange items to be appealing.  We organize.  We love our laundry rooms and our pantries.  We are just nesters.

I was floating around for a bit...both in actuality and in my head.  I didn't know where I was going to go.  I didn't know who I was going to live with.  I was just a bit discombobulated.  I guess the reality that this is my life now recently settled on me and I'm now prepared to make decisions.

It's just me and my boys.  And this momma is ready to set up a place of protection.

I haven't stopped praying over this place.  When I walked in, it was as though God was using it to get my attention.  Whether I get the house or not, He was using it as a tool to speak to me.

There is nothing more important that I will do in my lifetime aside from being a momma.  It is my sole purpose.  And that task has been given to me alone.  I have two little boys whose world revolves around me and their dad right now.  I have been overlooking the responsibility that I have to them to provide a home for them.  With stability and protection.  Love and happiness.  We have just been surviving up to this point.

It's time to build a home.  I'm all prayers that it is the house that caused me to realize all this.  My birds need a nest.  And this momma needs a home.