My oldest performed at his school fair yesterday. We had to park five blocks away because the fair was so packed. We were running to get there in time, and then once there I realized we had left the tickets in the car. I decided to book it back to the car after leaving Graham with his grandparents and Brady with his class because I had to work a booth right after the performance. I had six minutes.
I made it in time to see the performance, but I had to stand in the back. Brady couldn't find me. His face looked stressed while his little eyes darted around the crowd. He was doing the motions perfectly, but his mind was on where his momma was. The first thing he said after his performance was, "Where were you, momma?"
Being single is a lonely affair most of the time. Activities are planned to avoid this loneliness, but the most important part of these activities is the company, not the activity itself. If I'm not with people I love and who love me, the activity is not as enjoyable. It doesn't matter if I'm on a beautiful island at an all inclusive resort or in my living room. If the company is wrong, the whole activity fails to deliver the desired result. Brady did not care that he was performing for a crowd. He just wanted his momma to see him perform.
I remember the last time I went to a bar I was hopefully looking around for a face who knew me. Though I "know" most people there, I don't really. I don't know what makes them tick. I don't know what they do when they're bored or how they handle conflict. I don't know much. This doesn't decrease their value as humans, it just means that our individual relationship is not one based on knowledge of who they are.
I went on a date recently and the man I was with asked what my biggest pet peeve was in a relationship. I said without hesitation that it was being misunderstood without questioning. I surprised him and myself with how quickly I answered. I had just gotten a taste of this, and decided it was the worst feeling possible. His response was, "Oh, that's a good one. I've never thought about that." Neither had I.
Being misunderstood means that you are unknown. Being misunderstood is a common occurrence in our world full of social media "friends" and followers. Our actions become the main focus, and our intentions are lost. Our hearts are silenced and the actions take center stage. It is the ultimate platform for judging based on appearances. If someone wants to know you, they will ask questions so they can understand where you're coming from. If they don't, no questioning follows the misunderstood action...just judgement.
But if someone knows you, they know your heart in everything you do. They know your reasoning behind your social media posts. They understand why you put yourself out there. They understand your intentions because they know your heart.
Without someone knowing our heart, our actions are misunderstood.
Perhaps that's why dating is so tricky. We are putting ourselves out there with vulnerability and are being judged without being known.
My son was not concerned with the many "fans" in the crowd. He just wanted his momma to see him...the one who knows him.
Regardless of those quick to judge and cast their votes without knowing me, I will continue to put myself out there, pick myself up and move on. (Even if that means short stints of crying in the bathroom.) I have no choice but to press on. I will continue to expose myself to criticism without too much concern because the One who truly knows me gets me. And He has given me an incredible inner circle who know my heart. They are the ones who make my performance meaningful.
https://youtu.be/cVVlMQved8k
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